You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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