Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
