No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
