I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize