So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
