Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
