well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
The power of my boobs compel you
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
