thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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