The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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