oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Randomize
