I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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