Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
