I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Actions speak louder than pants.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
