It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
