If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Need sex. Gaining weight.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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