do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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