Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Randomize
