Duck Duck Cougar?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
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