My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
