the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cat food counts as protein by the way
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize