FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
