You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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