you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
