I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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