hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
