True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
