Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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