i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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