So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
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