Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
