Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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