Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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