I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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