sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
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You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
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This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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