Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
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