New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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