I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
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