"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
