Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
