Barsexuality is the new black.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
