btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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