Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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