I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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