does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
