is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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