my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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