i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
