she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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