Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
