Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
