after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
