S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
