i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
