I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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