Your dad touched me again.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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