FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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