Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
