NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
