he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
My penis needs a shock collar
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
