Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
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So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
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Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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