would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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