You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Randomize
