Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
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He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
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His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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