The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
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