i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
