He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
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