Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I understand Curling. That high.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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